Does the need to be everything and all for your children, to provide them opportunities to explore and grow and be happy, and more, ever subside?! Me thinks not!
It seems as they get older our needs and desires just change. You don’t want to be the nasty parent because all their friends have cell phones and you’ve said: “Not yet.” You don’t want them to tell you it’s unfair because they can’t go to the beach for the holidays! However, sometimes that’s just the way it is and thinking back to my childhood, they won’t understand my explanations about why I do the things I do and wanting the best for them, until they themselves are parents. And the reality is that these unfair moments are going to happen throughout their childhood and youth – possibly more often than they would like.
The school holidays have got me thinking… Well more than usual that is!!! Holidays can be long – and expensive!!! I cannot entertain their every whim and give in to their every desire – not only because I don’t want them to become ELFs (a term I’m stealing from my sister-in-law – Entitled Little F****** – I’ll leave it at that), but also because in today’s world it isn’t financially possible to do it ALL – well it sure ain’t for me…
I absolutely want to be the best parent I can to my children, but does that mean breaking the bank? Or having to break into the bank!? I don’t think so.
Over the last couple of days, I have seen how happy my kids are when I’m with them, being present, playing games with them, going for walks in the park, even sitting on the couch at night watching a series of their choice. But not everyone can do that. Most parents have full-time jobs, and this means – whether you’re working at the office or at home – you cannot sit on the floor for an hour in the middle of the morning doing puzzles.
My time is currently flexible, but I am trying very hard to get a new business off the ground, so although I may have more time than most, the reality is that there is only so much of me my kids want before I am too old and boring AND I do still have to put in the hours for my business.
I have arranged for friends to come over and for my kids to go to their friends – for a change of scenery – and it is incredible how much fun they have with their friends. It’s also encouraging to see when they have other things going on and other distractions, screens aren’t front of mind, they don’t need them and actually come up with fun games and entertainment themselves – even if that does mean a golf ball through your bedroom window!!! That’s a story for another day.
Kids are resourceful and when they are allowed to be bored, it’s inspirational to watch their ingenuity and inventiveness kicking in – even if your house does look like a tornado has been through it afterwards!
Back to where I started – Do we need to give our kids everything they want and ask for in order to be perceived as good parents OR is it purely that we want to? Does it make us feel like we are better parents by just giving?
That’s a question each one of us needs to answer for ourselves. What I know it that not much comes for free, so this therefore implies a financial impact.
Now you are juggling 3 balls – wanting to be there for your children; wanting to give them things and experiences; and earning your own keep to make it all possible.
I can barely juggle 2 balls – now 3?! OH BOY!!!
I have a board on my wall with a whole lot of sayings on it that I love reading regularly and today this one really stuck out when writing this:
“Nothing you do for children is ever wasted” – Garrison Keillor
Food for thought! If your intentions are good and your children are the reason you are doing what you are doing, how can they be wasted or a bad thing?!
Pat yourself on the back – I am right now – because I have happy, healthy children who (most of the time) actually quite like me and appreciate all that I do for them. That’s got to be a good thing, right?!
